Notice, Name it, Nurture

Emotions, negative thinking, and stressful experiences are hard for all of us to manage and deal with. Sometimes, the uncertainty of what we are experiencing or “why” we are experiencing what we are experiencing causes more distress. In my counseling practice, I am a really big fan of incorporating modalities like EMDR, hypnotherapy and DBT. Here is a pretty simple method I put together incorporating components from each separate technique I have found to be really helpful when working with clients.

Notice, Name it, Nurture

Notice: Checking in is an awesome way to be mindful and focus on observing what is going on internally (inside your body) and externally (environment and situations). Bringing awareness to your body and environment can assist with bringing you back to the present moment. Ask questions like:

• ·What am I noticing in your body? Body sensations? Feelings? Thoughts?

• What is going on in my environment? Who is around me? Where am I? What is going on in this situation?

Name it: Identifying your experience helps separate yourself from the experience. Being able to label and name the experience externalizes the experience-helping place some distance between you and the experience. This can be simply be naming “this is anxiety” or “this is frustration.” If finding a name is hard, I suggest incorporating descriptors such as colors, temperature, size, and/or texture. Our emotional brain (amygdala/limbic system) learns/interprets information through experiences and images. So when we are able to describe an image of what we experiencing, we are able to help release the emotional response from our brain and body.

Nurture: Focusing on what is needed to “weather the storm,” help bring clarity, resolve, or cope with the situation and/or experience. Asking questions like:

• What do I need right now (physically, emotionally, spiritually) to manage, cope, accept, release, express, and process this experience? Some examples:

  • Breath work (belly, square, and 478 breathing)

  • Journaling

  • Guided visualizations

  • Inner-child work

  • Tapping

  • Positive affirmations

  • Self-compassion

  • Radical acceptance

  •   Perspective taking

  • Positive self-talk

  • Utilizing your support system

  • Honoring experience and reminding yourself you are safe in the moment

Using this format helps your brain develop neural networks for linking experiences to identification and what is needed to help manage and cope. Remember, it can take 6 months for a new neural network to form so be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate your experiences and emotions.

Written by: Chase Harshbarger, MA, LPCC

3 Supplements You Should (Probably) Be Taking for Brain Health

Ok. Let me start off by saying, I am not a medical doctor, nor am I a nutritionist. However, I have spent countless hours researching this topic over the years, have learned from trusted MD friends and colleagues and have read many books on the subject. As trusted resources I pull from the work and research of Dr. David Perlmutter and Dr. Dale Bredesen. As a disclaimer, of course, talk to your medical provider before making any changes to your supplement regimen.

The three supplements discussed here are the most BASIC list I can come up with, that nearly everyone would benefit from. They all have trusted track records for brain health, nothing new or trendy here. Let’s dive in as I discuss some of the science behind each of these supplements in protecting and benefiting our brain health.

As always, quality is very important. I personally use and trust the NOW, Garden of Life and Bluebonnet brands for supplements (all easily found on Amazon).

1. DHA: An Omega-3 Fatty Acid, often derived from fish oil. DHA is essential for healthy function of the nervous system and makes up more than 50% of the fatty acids in the brain. Numerous studies have shown that elevated levels of DHA can be a protective factor against cognitive decline and Alzheimer’s disease. Several studies have also proposed DHA as having positive outcomes on symptoms of various mental health conditions including ADHD and depression. Dr. David Perlmutter recommends 1000 mg/day.

2. Probiotics: Have you heard much about the brain-gut connection? Many medical professionals refer to the gut as our “second brain”. In fact, did you know our gut houses more than 100 million neurons and produces about 90% of our serotonin? Research is starting to show that diets rich in probiotics can help modulate the influence of stress, anxiety and depression. Healthy gut, healthy mind. Reach for foods like sauerkraut, kimchi, kombucha, yogurt, kefer and pickles to get more natural probiotics in your diet. For supplements, look for ones that have at least 10 billion active cultures from at least 10 different strains.

3. Vitamin D3: Many people live with sub-optimal Vitamin D levels. Without proper Vitamin D we subject ourselves to risk for cognitive decline (including Alzheimer’s), depression, poor immunity, weak bones and more. Vitamin D helps reduce inflammation and can even reduce our risk of developing cancer. Dr. Perlmutter recommends a level of 70-80 ng/ml in a blood test and taking up to 5000 IU’s/day.

Written by: Britney Cirullo, MA, LPCC-S, LICDC, BCN

10 Tips for Setting Boundaries

Being a good person is typically seen as a strength, right? If that’s the case, then why is being ”too caring” a trait that many of our clients will list as a weakness? The answer: boundaries. We are taught to put other’s needs before our own, but are not taught that it is okay to say no when things become too much for us to handle. We’re human. We get tired and worn out. Sometimes we need a break and That. Is. Okay.

We can set boundaries for our:

-  Personal space: e.g. feeling like someone is in our “bubble”

-  Sexuality- e.g. what we are comfortable with in intimacy

-  Emotions and thoughts- e.g. needing time to unwind after work

-  Possessions- e.g. lending money to a friend

-  Time and energy- e.g. helping a friend in the little free time we have

-  Culture- e.g. religion, morals, etc.

Setting boundaries isn’t easy, and it does take practice. Here’s some things to think about that may help:

1.       Know your limits. Identify your personal, mental, and spiritual limits. Maybe you have a friend that sucks the energy out of you because their social threshold is much higher than yours. Notice your social limit and let your friend know that you need a night at home. Maybe you need time to decompress after a long, stressful day of work. Notice that mental limit and let your spouse know that you need 20 minutes of alone time when you get home.

2.       Tune into your feelings. Boundary setting can result in many different emotions. It’s normal to feel fear and self-doubt when you first set a boundary. You may feel guilt when you have to enforce a boundary. These feelings are okay and will eventually dissipate. If you notice yourself starting to feel resentment and discomfort, it may be a sign that you’re letting go of boundaries. Check in with yourself and figure out where the discomfort is coming from.

3.       Be direct. When you’re setting a boundary, make sure to be direct in your dialogue. Clear-cut boundaries are easier to understand, and easier to enforce. Make your boundaries specific.

4.       Give yourself permission. This goes back to tuning into your feelings. As fear, self-doubt, and guilt are normal when setting boundaries, they can also be potential barriers. Give yourself permission to set and keep boundaries, and allow yourself to remember that it is not selfish to focus on your mental health.

5.       Consider your circumstances. Your boundaries, or lack of boundaries, could have stemmed from how you were raised or your current role in your family. These circumstances could be potential barriers to setting and enforcing boundaries. If you are someone who needs time to unwind after work, but you have kids, getting 20 minutes of alone time after work is probably not realistic. As an alternative, you could drive around for an extra few minutes before pulling into your driveway, or sit in your car in the parking lot at work before leaving to go home. If you are trying to set a boundary of not cleaning up after your partner, but have done so from the beginning of your relationship, it might take extra time and effort- and maybe a dirty house- to enforce the boundary.

6.       Make self-care a priority. You can’t take care of others unless you take care of yourself first. Self-care isn’t always facemasks and bath bombs. It could be going to bed 30 minutes earlier, taking 10 minutes out of your day to read a book, prepping meals to minimize eating out. Self-care is arguably the most important thing to consider when setting boundaries. Give yourself permission to put yourself first.

7.       Allow yourself to seek support. If you’re having a hard time with setting boundaries, it is okay to reach out for help. This could be a support group, counseling, or a good friend. It is normal to seek validation for the boundaries you are trying to set, especially if you are not used to focusing on yourself. Sometimes, all you need is a reminder that setting boundaries isn’t selfish.

8.       Be assertive. Confrontation can often times be very difficult. However, it is so important to be assertive and let someone know when they have crossed the line. It is bound to happen when you first set a boundary, so in order to successfully enforce your boundary, you need to open the line of communication and let that person know.

9.       Start small. Along with prioritizing self-care, starting with baby steps is another major factor in setting boundaries. Start with setting a small boundary that will be easy for you to enforce, and then work your way up from there.

10.   Reassess your boundaries. Just because a boundary should be specific doesn’t mean your boundaries can’t change. As you grow and change, your boundaries will too. If you have a difficult time enforcing a boundary, it is okay to take a step back and shift the boundary to be enforced more easily. As boundaries become easier to enforce, it is okay to add more or different boundaries. Make sure to reassess your boundaries as time goes on in order to keep them specific to your needs.

Written by: Olivia Clark

Let's Talk.... About Mental Health. 9 Things You Need to Know.

Hey, um, we need to talk…

…about mental health. 1 in every 4 people experience a mental health problem, yet we don’t talk about it. Don’t get me wrong, we have come a long way from just throwing “crazy” people into mental institutions, but there is still so far to go. Part of it is that there is still a lot of stigma surrounding mental illness, but part if it is because sometimes, we just don’t know what to say. So, what can we do to support someone who wants to discuss their mental health?

1.       Listen. The most important thing to do when someone is disclosing their mental illness is to simply listen. Don’t listen to respond, let them finish their sentences, and know that it’s okay to take a moment to take in what they’re telling you.

2.       Let them know you understand. Whether you have been through a similar situation or not, you can connect with them on a human level and let them know that you can understand the emotion behind what they are telling you. At the very least you can express to them that you understand the courage it took to tell you something so personal and thank them for trusting you.

3.       Avoid being judgmental. Don’t tell them they are being weird or crazy. Being judgmental will only prevent them from trusting you in the future.

4.       Take them seriously. Don’t minimize how they are feeling or what they are going through by saying “you’re just having a bad day” or “at least tomorrow will be better”. Let them know it’s okay to be feeling the way they are and that you believe them.

5.       Make yourself available to talk again if needed. Mental health struggles usually aren’t solved with one conversation. Let the person know that they can come to you again in the future if they feel they are struggling.

6.       Don’t turn what you’ve been told into gossip. If someone tells you something in confidence, it probably took a lot to work up the nerve to say anything in the first place. Just because they told you something doesn’t mean it is now your information to share. Let them share with others on their own terms.

7.       If you don’t understand, do some research. There is a lot of misinformation about mental illnesses. If you feel that you might be uninformed about a certain mental health issue, learn more with reputable resources.

8.       Tell an adult if you have to. If someone tells you that they have thoughts or plans to harm themselves or someone else, tell an adult. Their safety and the safety of others is more important than keeping a secret. It doesn’t make you a bad friend, it simply means that they need more help than you can give. If you’re the trusted adult of someone who has these thoughts, don’t be afraid to ask questions. It is important to gather as much information as you can to make sure that everyone stays safe.

9.       If someone you know is in crisis. If someone you know needs help urgently, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text 741741, go to your local Emergency Room or call 911.

Written by: Olivia Clark

5 Unexpected Benefits of Neurofeedback

So, you’ve read the website and watched the informational videos. (Hopefully! If not, go ahead-- I’ll wait!) You now know a little bit now about what neurofeedback is, who it can help, and how it works but now you’re wondering, “So what should I really expect? Would I actually benefit from this?”

The answer is a resounding YES! People of all ages, abilities, diagnoses and backgrounds have used and benefited from neurofeedback. Through the years of applying neurofeedback in combination with counseling, biofeedback, meditation training, lifestyle coaching, EMDR, etc, we’ve come across a short list of unexpected improvements that clients commonly report, despite what their “presenting issues” were.

1.  Enhance your work productivity.

Your boss can thank us later. Yep. Neurofeedback allows the brain to begin functioning more efficiently which in turn allows you to think faster, problem solve more effectively and work more efficiently. Get more done in less time. Who doesn’t want that?

2.  Increase motivation.

Has that gym membership been debited from your account month after month but yet you’ve been MIA? Have you had a project or hobby idea lingering over your head for years but have never found the energy or inspiration to get started? Have you let yourself down again and again when you fail to follow through with your diet plan or new lifestyle routine? Our clients often notice that with neurofeedback they suddenly find their “spark” again, they find their energy and they get serious about the things they’ve wanted to for far to long.

3.  Become a “morning person”.

That’s right! I can attest to this one personally. Neurofeedback helps us to make the most of our sleep. Many of us may THINK we sleep well but don’t realize that the quality of our sleep is lacking. We may not be spending enough time in the various stages of sleep necessary for repair and healing. People who undergo neurofeedback often experience a positive shift in the quality of their sleep. For me, I’ve always struggled with waking up in the mornings. I was a chronic “snoozer” and would wake up feeling groggy, cranky and lacking energy. I always wished I could just pop out of bed when the alarm went off, energized and clear headed and ready to tackle the day. This is my reality now. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my cranky morning moments (just ask my husband 😉) but the vast majority of the time I wake up with energy and clarity, and I no longer hit the snooze button.

4.  Reduce your “bad” habits.

Need 4 cups of coffee to get going in the morning? Drink too much wine in the evening to unwind from a stressful day? Even if you don’t have a “problem” with drugs and alcohol doesn’t mean your habits are healthy ones. When we rebalance our brain wave activity through neurofeedback, we often lose the urge to use substances to help us feel “balanced”. Some clients even notice that when they do fall prey to old habits that their brain and body have an unpleasant response. Coffee and wine are expensive! You’re welcome 😊

5.  Improve personal insight.

This is the BIG one. Across the board we see this so often with our clients it’s impossible to ignore. What does “improved personal insight” mean? Well, it means positive changes in nearly every aspect of your life. By improving your insight and awareness about your own thoughts, feelings and experiences you can better understand who you are, what your desires are and how to achieve them. Relationships improve, you find a deeper spiritual connection, you take better care of yourself, you seek positive new opportunities and experiences, essentially—you become the greatest and highest version of yourself. Don’t get us wrong, sometimes positive change requires hardship and difficult decisions. At times this improved personal insight has enlightened clients to end toxic relationships, start a new career, move across the country… these major changes can be stressful, and difficult. But with your new and improved balanced brain, powerful tools for managing stress and a kick-ass therapist to help you along the way, you’ve totally got this.

Written by: Britney Cirullo, MA, LPCC-S, LICDC, BCN