The Power of Conscious Creation
A while ago, I wrote a blog on the power of positive thinking. Today, I want to teach you how to use that power in a more intentional way.
Sometimes it can feel like life is a speed boat and we’re sitting in a tube being dragged over the wake. So when we learn we can be an active participant and drive the boat, consciously creating our own reality becomes an empowering practice. Conscious creation, or the more “woo woo” term, manifesting, is the process of intentionally and purposefully bringing our dreams and desires into existence. We are always manifesting, it’s how our brains work. But by tapping into the power of our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs, we can consciously choose to let life happen through us and not to us.
Conscious creation is rooted in the belief that our thoughts and emotions have a direct influence on the world around us. It suggests that we are not passive bystanders in our lives, but active participants with the ability to shape our own realities. This idea is supported by quantum physics, which suggests that our thoughts and intentions can affect the behavior of subatomic particles. Everything is made up of the same core atoms, and everything is just energy vibrating at different frequencies. We are all connected. By harnessing the power of our thoughts and aligning them with our desires, we can attract and create the experiences we truly desire.
The first step is gaining clarity about what you truly desire. Take the time to reflect on your goals and aspirations. Define them in detail, considering how they would make you feel, what they would look like, and any specific elements that are important to you. This part can actually be pretty tricky for a lot of us!
Next, my favorite, affirmations! Affirmations are powerful tools to create a positive mindset and reinforce your desires. Use present-tense statements that reflect your goals as if they have already been achieved. For example, "I am deeply fulfilled in my career," or "I attract abundance effortlessly." Assuming you read the blog on positive thinking, this is where the reticular activating system comes in to play.
Now visualize! Imagine yourself already living your desired reality. See yourself in detail, engaging all your senses to amplify the experience. If you’re like me, it may be more of a felt sense than an actual visual.
Often, our limiting beliefs and subconscious patterns act as roadblocks to manifestation. Identify any doubts, fears, or negative self-talk that may be hindering your progress. Affirm your willingness to release these limitations and replace them with empowering beliefs that support your desired reality. Your therapist is the PERFECT guide through this process and EMDR can be a very helpful tool to clear these core beliefs.
While conscious creation emphasizes the power of our thoughts and emotions, it also requires active participation. Pay attention to any inspired ideas or opportunities that present themselves and take action towards their realization. Can’t win the lottery if you never play!
Finally, cultivate an attitude of gratitude for both the present and the future manifestations. Express gratitude for what you have already and remain open to receiving even more. Gratitude helps maintain a positive mindset and reinforces the belief that abundance is already present in your life.
Conscious creation is a transformative practice that allows us to become intentional creators of our lives. By harnessing the power of our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs, we can manifest our desires into reality. Remember that it may take time and persistence, so practice patience and trust in the process. The brain learns through repetition. As you align your thoughts and actions with your desired outcome, embrace the power within you. Get out of the wake and into the drivers seat.
Written by: Grace Williamson, MA, LPCC, BCN
A Mental Health Break, with Penny!
Penny brings joy and laughter to us here at the office. If we’re ever having a RUFF day, she always knows just how to bring a smile to our faces :)
The Effect of Exercise on the Brain
I think by now we all know that exercise is going to be on the list of recommendations when we are looking to improve our mental and/or physical health. But do you know why? It’s not just something therapists and doctors recommend because it’s cliché, it’s because it’s backed by… you guessed it… science!
Exercise has a powerful effect on your brain by improving three important things; neurogenesis, neuroplasticity, and neurochemistry. Neurogenesis is the creation of new neurons, neuroplasticity changes how existing neurons work, and neurochemistry relates to the neurotransmitters in your brain.
Neurogenesis happens primarily in the hippocampus, an area in the brain responsible for learning and memory. The hippocampus is a region of the brain significantly impacted by exercise, which means exercise can improve cognitive function and memory. This happens through brain derived neurotrophic factor, or BDNF. BDNF is a key component in neuroplasticity. Low levels of BDNF have been associated with depression, anxiety, chronic stress, poor memory and brain degeneration as seen in conditions such as Alzheimer’s and dementia. Increased BDNF is linked to improved memory and learning, improved mood, lower rates of Alzheimer’s and improved ability to acquire new skills. Both aerobic exercise and strength training, specifically for hypertrophy (muscular fatigue) have been shown to increase BDNF the most. However, if exercise isn’t already in your playbook, simply moving your body more will do it!
There are other ways that have been shown to increase BDNF, like a high protein diet, supplements, social connection and apparently… getting naked in the sun. But… let’s stick to exercise for today.
Exercise has also been shown to increase mood regulating neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine. According to studies, other neurochemical factors that may be released during physical activities include opioids and endocannabinoids, which promote a sense of euphoria and well-being, anxiolytic effects, sedation and decreased sensitivity to pain in humans.
So what did we learn? Exercise can actually change your brain. It’s not something we suggest just because it sounds good. I understand it can be difficult to prioritize exercise, our lives are so busy! But love your brain enough to move your body for AT LEAST 10 minutes a day and see how you feel. Once you find something you don’t mind doing and it becomes a habit, it’s actually kind of fun!
Written by: Grace Williamson, LPCC, BCN
Managing Expectations with Neurofeedback Training
Many of our clients come to us seeking to add neurofeedback to their mental health regimen. We tend to get a lot of folks that have tried traditional talk therapy and still feel they are not seeing the difference they were hoping for. Since this is a very different approach to mental health for many people, it is important to manage expectations as you begin this process. Informed by my own extensive neurofeedback training as well as my experience helping many through this process, let me give you a few tips to ensure you are entering into this process in a realistic way.
Neurofeedback requires commitment. This is not a one-and-done kind of service. Change that occurs in the brain has to be reinforced over time. If you are trying to sew a quilt, you can't just run the needle through once or twice, having a thread or two pulled together, and expect to have anything you can curl up under. You have to repeatedly thread that needle many times to build something. Similarly, you can't go to the gym one time and expect to build those muscles the way you want to. You have to start a habit. Then, long lasting change can occur. Taking advantage of neuroplasticity (the ability of the brain to change) through neurofeedback requires repeated exposure. We recommend a minimum of weekly sessions for at least 20 sessions to see long lasting change. Some clients want to speed their progress forward more quickly and thus schedule more frequent sessions or choose to take a rental unit home so they can train every day.
More long standing, complex issues require more training. If you have an extensive history of trauma, for example, you likely will benefit from more than 20 sessions. Everyone's brain responds in a unique way to neurofeedback. When you are "done" depends on your goals. I highly recommend taking home a rental unit for those who anticipate needing more sessions, so that you do not need to spend 52 weeks to get in 52 sessions.
Neurofeedback works best when combined with other healthy lifestyle behaviors. If you are not doing anything else healthy for yourself and look to neurofeedback to fix all your problems, expect to see limited results. I see this principle played out consistently in my clients' results. Those who look to their one hour a week in the office to make a difference in the other 167 hours of their week, without changing those 167 hours somehow, often experience limited results. Research has shown that neurofeedback is most effective when used in combination with counseling. This is one of the many reasons we specialize in combining these approaches. Some say that neurofeedback is like tuning the guitar, and counseling is like learning to play the guitar. Neurofeedback is also more effective when combined with other healthy choices such as good nutrition, sleep habits, consistent exercise, and meditation. The application of what you're learning in counseling, healthy coping skills and caring for your body is essential to see the full benefits of what neurofeedback can do for you.
Written by Mary Beth Stevens, LPCC, BCN
How to Help Someone Who Is Grieving
Grief is a multifaceted emotion, and it can be really difficult know what to do to help someone grieving. Going with the typical “it will be okay”, “it will work out next time”, “time will heal”, “just pray about it” isn’t usually the best way to make someone feel supported, and in fact, tends to make people feel invalidated. Here are some tips that may help you help someone who is grieving:
1. Be a good listener
Active listening rather than listening to respond may be one of the most difficult but important things to do when it comes to being a support for someone grieving. It can be hard to make space for someone when such strong emotion is present, but giving a short answer such as “it will all be okay” tends to minimize the person’s emotions, and makes them feel like there is a limit on how long they can be sad.
2. Leave them care packages
Care packages are a nice way of showing someone that you are thinking of them, while giving them space to grieve. They also come in handy if distance is an issue in being able to support someone!
3. Be specific about how you can help
Offering help in specific ways gives the person grieving an opportunity to rest. It can be overwhelming to deal with other things that come along with grief while also trying to think of how someone can help. If you offer your help in a specific way, it takes some responsibility away from the person grieving.
4. Ask questions
It can be easy to ignore grief when someone appears “fine”. It’s okay to ask how the person is feeling today, as grief can ebb and flow.
5. Remember dates
Remembering dates, big or small, can make someone grieving feel supported. It can feel good to get a text or card on big dates such as anniversaries, holidays, birthdays. It can also be good to get a “thinking of you” message on any day, too!
6. Don’t avoid the topic
It’s okay to talk about or ask questions about the situation that caused the grief. Many people don’t want to “overstep” or “make them sad”, but the person grieving is already sad. They may not want to talk about it, and in that case, they can tell you just that. It can be easier to move on from the subject if they don’t want to talk about it rather than bring up the subject in the middle of another conversation if they do want to talk about it.
7. Let them be sad
As I said before, grief ebbs and flows. If a person is having a sad day (or week), let them. Minimizing sadness can feel invalidating, and suppressing emotions only makes it worse.
8. Know there is no timeline for grief
Everyone grieves in their own time, and shows grief in their own way. One person may show grief by getting angry while another may show it by crying a lot. One person may seem fine right away, and then break down later while another person may be distraught immediately, but seem like they are able to move on more quickly. There is no right way to grieve, and judging someone for taking longer to be okay is never helpful.
9. Understand that there are many situations that may cause someone to grieve.
Grief can be caused by actual loss, or perceived loss. Losing a family member or pet, learning about a medical diagnosis that can change the trajectory of life, life transitions, ideas for your future not coming to fruition. It’s important to understand that there can be happiness and grief at the same time. Leaving a toxic relationship is ultimately a good thing and can make someone feel relieved, and at the same time grieve the end of the relationship. Losing a family member to whom you have been the caretaker can also bring relief and grief. It is okay to feel any and all emotions that come along with grief- good and bad.
Remember the most important thing is to just be present for someone grieving.
Written by: Olivia Clark, LPCC, BCN
Why thinking and talking your way through problems doesn't always work.
Many times I hear new clients tell me, "I've been in talk therapy for years, and I'm still not where I want to be." I feel for these folks. I get it. These people know they need to try something different, because what they've done thus far hasn't worked. But what constitutes as different?
The difference is in which area of the brain your therapist treats. Most traditional talk therapies are getting at the front of your brain, using the frontal lobe. You talk about stuff. You use logic and try to think about things differently as you verbally process. This can be helpful. The problem is, many of the things that bring us to therapy aren't rooted in the front of the brain; they're rooted in the back of the brain. When we want transformation, it's much more effective to root out the actual problem.
The back of our brain, and in particular our amygdala (threat assessment) and our hippocampus (memory), holds our reactivity to distress. This distress comes from our previous experiences, and our brain takes up strategies to cope with this distress. This can result in symptoms like anxiety, depression, addiction, trauma flashbacks, etc. The brain is an unbelievably complicated structure, don't get me wrong. Every brain is unique and every person's array of symptoms is complex in origin. This is not simple stuff. Most basically though, many of the problems you'll bring to a therapist are not truly rooted in the front of the brain. If they were, you probably would have been able to think them through, and come to a resolution about them. Our western society believes that if you can think, you are. But we are forgetting the back of our brains, and our bodies, with this limited view. Our bodies and the back of our brains hold testimonies of what we have experienced. We store the distress in these parts of us. We forget that in traditional talk therapy.
What to do, then? How do we get at the real problem? It's the difference between top-down therapy (leading with thought) versus bottom-up therapy (addressing the root cause). When we use therapies that are focused on the body and the emotions, we can eventually get to the process that traditional talk therapy starts at. Once the distress is resolved in the problem area, talking through, challenging your thoughts, and reorienting your mind works beautifully well.
Here are a few examples of bottom-up therapies:
-Neurofeedback and Biofeedback
-EMDR
-Somatic (body-based) therapies (Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Somatic Experiencing, Yoga Therapy, Animal-Assisted Psychotherapy)
-Parts work therapies (Internal Family Systems, Ego State Psychotherapy)
-Expressive Arts therapies (Play Therapy, Sand Tray Therapy, Drama Therapy, Art Therapy, Dance/Movement Therapy)
-Polyvagal Theory-informed therapies
-Attachment-focused therapies
-Emotion-focused therapies
And more!
Written by Mary Beth Stevens, M.Ed., LPC, BCN
Managing ADHD Without Medication
Hi, I’m Olivia and I have ADHD. Yes, I’m a therapist. Yes, I can diagnose. No, I didn’t realize that I had ADHD, and I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 27. That being said, I was obviously not on medication my whole life. So, I found some ways to manage my symptoms that some people might find helpful, and I figured I would share.
1. Give yourself a deadline for things you don’t want to do
One of the most difficult symptoms to manage is getting the motivation to complete tasks that are not interesting to me. I’ve learned that if I have all the time in the world to get things done, they don’t get done. To combat this, I come up with a deadline for myself, as time restraints tend to help me with task initiation.
2. It’s ok to procrastinate (as long at it gets done on time)
It took me a looong time to stop judging myself for this. I have always been one to procrastinate on things that I don’t prefer to do. I was the type of college student to start working on writing a paper a few hours before it was due and turn it in with 3 minutes to spare. If I tried to start writing a couple days ahead of time, I would sit there for hours with two words written. I learned that I work better under pressure. I could sit there for 5 hours and write nothing three days before a paper was due, or I could sit there for three hours and still turn it in before it is due. I get just stressed enough (not too overwhelmed) when there is a deadline approaching that I can actually put effort and focus into whatever the task is.
3. Put reminders in your phone
If I don’t write something down, I will completely forget about it. So, if someone tells me something or I think of something important, I will set it as a reminder in my phone for a time when I know I will be able to address whatever it is. For example, if I’m driving home and I remember that I need to bring something to work the next day, I will use Siri to set a reminder in 20 minutes when I know that I will be home to put whatever it is in my car. In 20 minutes, I will get a notification to remind me!
4. Set alarms for important events
If there is something that is not part of my regular schedule that I need to remember, like a phone call for work, I will set an alarm to go off about 10-15 minutes before I need to be ready. This has saved me many times when I have completely forgotten that I have something different to do that day!
5. Lists
If I have a lot going on and begin to feel overwhelmed, I rely on lists to stay sane. Writing everything down helps get it out of my head, and seeing it on paper helps me prioritize what needs to be done first.
6. Set timers or mental milestones
I will set timers for myself to help myself stay focused on tasks that I don’t enjoy. I have to clean? I’ll set a timer and clean for 20 minutes. Usually, once I get past 10 minutes, the momentum keeps me going. If it’s a super low motivation day, I will allow myself to have a break for 5 minutes and pet my cats, play with my dog, or just scroll on my phone. Then, I’ll set the timer again to keep completing the task for another 20 minutes (time set depending on the tasks may vary). What I mean by mental milestones is that I will tell myself that I have to complete so much of a task before I can take a break or move on to something different.
7. Reward yourself
Give yourself a little reward after you finish things! You want to go get a coffee? Finish up those notes for work first. You want to spend time with a friend? Clean your bathroom before you leave. Make things you’re looking forward to a special treat to finish things you don’t want to do.
8. Give yourself permission to do things differently
Growing up, I was always taught to do things in a more typical way. Clean one room at a time, start with big tasks first, etc. It took me a long time to realize that I don’t work that way. I had to give myself permission to do things a little differently, even if it doesn’t make sense to other people. 90% of the time, I walk out to my car to leave and then have to go back inside. I learned that this will probably never change, so I give myself an extra couple minutes in the morning to account for the time it will take to go back inside. When I clean, I typically do it a task at a time rather than a whole room at a time. Sometimes I will clean small bits of the house over the course of a couple days. It gets cleaned in the end, so what does it matter if it happens all in one day or not? When I have a lot of things to do, I tend to do a couple smaller or easier tasks first to get myself going, and then I’ll do the larger thing that I’ve been dreading.
9. Do what works for YOU
Keep in mind that these tips are very subjective. These are the things I learned that work for me. Things for you might look much different and THAT’S OK. Do what works for you.
Written by: Olivia Clark, LPCC, BCN
Why you should try light therapy
I don't dread winters anymore. Don't get me wrong, the cold and darkness get real old by the end of winter. But using a light box for light therapy has really changed my experience of the winter blues. I don't feel like I'm bogged down by winter anymore, or like my life gets temporarily put on hold for a few months. I don’t think any Ohioan has a good reason why not to use these things if they experience the winter blues like many of us do. And evidence is showing that it is also effective for nonseasonal depression as well as perinatal depression. Dr. Richard Schwartz, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, says "for both seasonal and nonseasonal depression, the effectiveness of light therapy is approximately the same as antidepressant medications." And it comes without those nasty side effects we all love to hate from meds!
Make sure when using light therapy, you're doing the following things to ensure effectiveness:
Choose a good light box. You want 10,000 lux that provides full spectrum light but blocks out UV rays. Here is just one example of a good, affordable option on Amazon.
Use the light box DAILY, in the morning for 20-60 minutes. Make it part of a morning routine; if you drink coffee, eat breakfast, put on makeup, read, listen to music or look at your phone, these are great opportunities to add in your light box time. You do need your eyes to be open to get benefit from it.
Place the box about 12-24 inches away from your face, at about a 10 o'clock or 2 o'clock angle.
Monitor your mood and see if it's working. You should notice increased energy, better sleep and a better mood within a few days to two weeks of daily use. If 20 minutes a day isn't cutting it, try increasing the time up to 60 minutes.
With consistent, correct usage, this form of therapy can make winters, and even year-round depressive symptoms, so much more tolerable, with greater energy and improved moods. Who doesn't want that?
Written by Mary Beth Stevens, M.Ed., LPC, BCN
Co-Regulation with Penny!
Did you know we have the power to control other people’s nervous systems? It’s called co-regulation! Watch as Olivia demonstrates with our favorite office-mate, Penny!
The Power of Positive Thinking
I know, I know. The title… *cringe*.. but hear me out. I’m not going to sit here and try to convince you to jump on the toxic positivity train
I know, I know. The title… *cringe*.. but hear me out. I’m not going to sit here and try to convince you to jump on the toxic positivity train and bypass all of the ugly stuff that life can throw your way. That’s unrealistic and also, not helpful. I am, however, going to try to help you understand why more realistic, evidence based thinking and positive affirmations can help rewire your brain. It’s not woo-woo, it’s Science. I promise!
Still with me? Great. So first, let’s get a better understanding of the brain. Our brains are, and have pretty much always been, wired with a negativity bias. At one point, it helped the species survive. Now, it’s just really annoying. There is a whole lot of science behind this but let’s just keep it simple. If I wrote down 100 math problems and 99 of them were correct, but one was wrong, which one do you think everyone would focus on? Yup, you guessed it, the wrong one. So when you hear 99 positive things about yourself, but 1 negative… which one does your brain focus on? That big ol negative that’s telling you something like “I’m not good enough”, “I am a failure”, or “I am a bad person”, just to name a few.
Now, let’s talk about the RAS or reticular activating system. It’s a pencil sized bundle of nerve at the base of your brain that is basically the gateway between the subconscious and conscious mind. The RAS is where all of your senses enter, except smell. We intake a TON of sensory information on a daily basis, and we couldn’t possibly process it all, which is where the RAS comes in. Your RAS filters out the information that can be safely ignored. There are certain bits of information that we are hardwired to deem as important, like your name being called or a threat to safety. Otherwise, we set the agenda. Sometimes consciously, but often what gets through is based on subconscious deeper belief systems. Let’s say you want to buy a car and you decide you really want a red corvette. Suddenly, you start seeing red corvettes everywhere! They have always been there, but you woke up your RAS and told it to start letting this information through.
“How the heck can all this mumbo jumbo help me?”, you might ask. Well, I’ll tell you. Alert your RAS to what you want. Tell it what you intend for your life. Train your brain to see the positives and not immediately focus on the negatives. They both exist. It is the duality of man. It is inevitable that life will throw curve balls your way. My point is not to tell you to ignore them. My point is, don’t live there. There is still positive all around you, your RAS just won’t let you see it. This doesn’t make your trauma or negative experiences any less valid. The trauma is not and never was your fault. But you CAN heal.
Through trauma, and just life, we all have developed negative core beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world around us that have become the lens that we view the world through. These beliefs are telling the bouncer in your brain (The RAS) who to let into the club and usually, it’s not benefitting us. I use a combination of EMDR and CBT with my clients to help clear out those beliefs and reprogram your RAS.
Thankfully, you don’t need us to utilize some simples techniques on your own. I recommend a daily practice of gratitude and affirmations to get yourself started. On your own or with the help of your therapist, identify some negative core beliefs and some positive affirmations to utilize to challenge those beliefs. Once it becomes a habit, you’ll see a difference. (Thanks RAS!).
Example: I am not good enough —> I am enough, I am good enough, I am more than enough
Try it for yourself!
Written by: Grace Williamson, MA, LPCC, BCN